It Can Start Earlier Than Most Women Expect

Many women are surprised to learn that perimenopause can begin in their late thirties.

Often before periods become irregular.

Often before they recognise what is happening.

What they notice first is a shift in how they feel.

A body that doesn't feel quite as settled.

A growing sensitivity to stress.

Difficulty switching off.

Feeling more emotional.

More reactive.

More uncertain.

Many women tell me:

"I used to cope with everything."

"Why does everything feel harder now?"

The answer is not that they have become less capable.

Their body is changing.

Their hormones are changing.

Their nervous system is responding to those changes.

And that can create a very real emotional and physical experience.

Anxiety Is Often Felt In The Body

One thing I've observed both through my own experience and through years of working with women is that anxiety is often felt in the body long before we have words for it.

It may feel like:

• a tight chest
• a knot in the stomach
• tension in the shoulders
• restlessness
• difficulty relaxing
• feeling constantly "on"
• waking during the night
• a sense that something doesn't feel settled

Many women tell me:

"I don't even know what I'm anxious about."

And that can feel confusing.

Because anxiety isn't always a thought.

Sometimes it's the body's way of communicating that something needs our attention.

Hormonal Change Can Create Uncertainty

Perimenopause is a significant transition.

Not just physically.

Emotionally too.

The body is changing.

Energy changes.

Sleep changes.

Priorities often begin to change.

Women start questioning things they have tolerated for years.

Relationships.

Work.

Boundaries.

The way they've been living.

The roles they've been playing.

The expectations they've placed on themselves.

This can create uncertainty.

And uncertainty can feel uncomfortable.

Especially for women who are used to being the ones who hold everything together.

What If Emotions Are Not The Problem

This is something I feel deeply passionate about that emotions are not the problem.

And anxiety is not a sign that you are failing.

Emotions are communication.

They tell us something about our internal experience.

They tell us something about our needs.

They tell us something about what feels aligned and what doesn't.

They tell us when something requires our attention.

The challenge is that many of us were never taught how to listen.

Instead, we learned how to push through.

Keep busy.

Stay productive.

Look after everyone else.

Carry on.

And while those strategies may help us cope for a period of time, they don't necessarily help us understand what is happening beneath the surface.

Validation Can Create Safety

One of the most powerful things you can do when experiencing anxiety is also one of the simplest.

Pause.

And acknowledge how you feel.

Not how you think you should feel.

Not whether it makes sense.

Not whether someone else has it worse.

Try to open to an idea about:

"This is how I feel right now."

Without any judgement.

No fixing.

No analysing.

No making yourself wrong.

Just acknowledging your experience.

And from here validation starts to create safety.

And when we feel safe, we become more able to understand what is happening within us.

Many women spend years invalidating their own experience.

Telling themselves stories that they're overreacting.

Being too sensitive.

Being silly.

Being dramatic.

But what if you are willing to allow yourself to acknowledge that this is how you feel right now?

Not right.

Not wrong.

Just true.

We Don't Have To Force Ourselves To Feel Everything

This is important.

When I talk about listening to emotions, I don't mean forcing yourself into difficult feelings.

I don't mean reliving painful experiences.

I don't mean sitting alone with overwhelming emotions.

Every person has their own story.

Every nervous system has its own pace.

There is no one-size-fits-all approach.

What feels supportive for one person may not feel supportive for another.

This is why gentleness and safety matters.

The invitation is simply to become curious.

To notice.

To acknowledge.

To create enough safety that you can gently begin to listen without feeling overwhelmed.

You don't have to do this alone. We can approach it gently, safely and at a pace that feels right for you.

EFT Tapping: Creating A Bridge Between Mind And Body

This is one of the reasons I love Emotional Freedom Techniques Tapping.

EFT creates a bridge between what we think, what we feel emotionally, what we experience physically and what our nervous system is holding.

Often anxiety carries an emotional charge.

A build-up of worries.

Pressure.

Stress.

Uncertainty.

Experiences that haven't been fully processed.

Thought patterns that keep repeating.

EFT helps create enough safety for those experiences to be acknowledged and explored without becoming overwhelming.

As the emotional charge begins to soften, many women experience greater clarity.

The body feels calmer.

The mind becomes quieter.

And what once felt confusing often starts to make sense.

What Women Tell Me

One of my favourite parts of this work is hearing what women share after our group sessions and private work together.

Often they tell me:

"I feel like myself again."

"I feel lighter."

"I feel free."

"I understand what's been happening."

"I feel more confident."

"I'm excited about the future again."

What changes isn't only the anxiety.

It's their relationship with themselves.

They gain awareness.

Understanding.

Compassion and Safety.

Tools they can use in everyday life.

And most importantly, they learn they can trust themselves.

Perhaps Anxiety Is Not Asking To Be Fought

Perhaps anxiety is not something to be feared.

Perhaps it is not something to push away.

Perhaps it is not a sign that something is wrong with you.

Perhaps it is simply asking for your attention.

An invitation to pause.

To listen.

To become curious.

To understand what your body, emotions and mind may be communicating.

Not with judgement.

Not with pressure.

But with gentleness.

Because when we create enough safety to truly listen, we often discover that anxiety isn't the enemy.

It's simply pointing us towards something that needs understanding.

And from that place, meaningful change becomes possible.



Not because we've fought ourselves.

But because we've finally started listening

A Gentle Note

Anxiety is a deeply personal experience and can be influenced by many different factors.

This article shares some of the experiences I commonly see and hear from women during perimenopause and menopause, but it is not intended to suggest that everyone’s experience is the same or that there is one simple explanation for anxiety.

Every person has their own story, life experiences, emotions, body and circumstances. Because of this, what contributes to anxiety and what support feels helpful will be unique to each individual.

This is why I do my best to apply my approach centred around the person in, not just the symptom.



EFT Tapping (Emotional Freedom Techniques) is one of the tools I use to support women in exploring their own experience gently and safely, creating space for awareness, understanding and a deeper connection with themselves.

A Gentle Reminder

If you are experiencing anxiety symptoms that feel new, intense, persistent or concerning, please speak with a qualified healthcare professional for support and guidance.

Every person’s experience is unique, and having the right support around you matters. EFT Tapping is one of the supportive practices I use to help women gently explore their emotions, regulate their nervous system and reconnect with themselves alongside any appropriate care they may need.

If we create enough safety to truly listen, we may discover that anxiety isn’t the enemy. It is pointing us towards something that needs understanding...