Learning to recognise what I need

Being deeply sensitive can sometimes feel lonely.

It’s noticing things others might miss.
Feeling emotions more intensely.
Taking in information from your surroundings.
Needing time to process experiences that other people seem to move through more easily.

And when the world doesn’t always understand this way of experiencing life, it’s easy to start questioning yourself.

Am I too sensitive?
Why does this affect me so much?
Why do I need more time to recover?
Why can something that seems small to someone else feel like so much to me?

For a long time, I knew I was sensitive, but understanding how to work with that sensitivity was a different journey.

I gradually began to recognise how much information and emotional experience I was taking in, and how important it was to understand my own needs.

I started noticing what happened when I ignored those needs, pushed through tiredness or continued giving when I had very little left to give.



And I began to understand something important.

Looking after myself means noticing when my cup is running low, not waiting until it’s completely empty.

For me, that means learning to recognise the signs of sensory and emotional overwhelm before they become too much.

It means understanding what helps me feel grounded, what drains my energy, when I need quiet, and when I need to step back.

It also means accepting that what works for someone else might not work for me.



We each have our own way of experiencing life. And we each need to discover our own way of looking after ourselves.

When perimenopause made me listen differently

During perimenopause, I became particularly aware of my sensitivity.

I felt more sensitive to different aspects of my body and life, and things that I might previously have managed felt different.

It made me realise how important it was to understand what was happening within me rather than simply expecting myself to carry on as before.

Perimenopause can bring changes that are physical, emotional and sometimes difficult to make sense of. Every woman’s experience is different, and there isn’t one explanation or approach that fits everyone.

For me, this stage of life brought a deeper awareness of my relationship with myself.

I began to appreciate that listening to myself wasn’t simply about noticing when I was tired or taking time out when life became busy.

It was also about recognising my emotional needs, understanding my responses, and learning to support myself from within.

Sometimes, that meant slowing down.

Sometimes, it meant acknowledging a feeling I’d been pushing aside.

Sometimes, it meant accepting that I couldn’t keep doing everything in the same way.

And sometimes, it meant giving myself permission not to have all the answers.

I’m still learning. I see this as a lifelong journey. But I’m so much better at recognising what I need and finding ways to support myself.



And that has made a difference.

What does it really mean to listen to yourself?

I think we often hear about the importance of listening to ourselves, but what does that actually mean?

For me, it’s not always straightforward.

It isn’t simply asking yourself what you need and immediately knowing the answer.



Sometimes, we have become so used to responding to other people’s needs, managing responsibilities and getting through the day that we barely notice what’s happening inside us.

We might recognise that we’re exhausted only when we can no longer ignore it.

We might notice our emotions only when they become overwhelming.

We might keep going because stopping feels uncomfortable, unfamiliar or even impossible.

And sometimes, we don’t realise how much we’ve been carrying until we finally have a quiet moment.

Learning to listen to myself has meant becoming more aware of these patterns.

It’s meant recognising my limits, noticing what affects me and discovering what helps me feel supported.

It’s also meant learning that I don’t need to judge everything I feel or immediately try to change it.

I can acknowledge how I feel without making myself wrong for feeling that way.

This is how I feel right now.

Not right.
Not wrong.
Just how I feel right now.

For me, there is something important in allowing that simple truth to exist without immediately trying to fix it.

EFT Tapping and the relationship I have with myself

EFT Tapping became one of the tools that helped me navigate my own journey.

It gave me a way to work with some of the emotions and experiences I was carrying, and to approach them with greater awareness and compassion.

It wasn’t about becoming less sensitive or getting rid of the parts of myself I found difficult.

It was about learning how to support myself through what I was experiencing.

Over time, this personal exploration also influenced the way I began supporting others.

I became increasingly interested in the person behind the experience: their story, their emotions, their circumstances and the ways they had learned to cope with life.

Because two people can experience something similar and need very different kinds of support.

What feels safe for one person might feel overwhelming for another. What helps one person reconnect with themselves might not be the right starting point for someone else.

This is why I believe our work with ourselves needs to be approached with gentleness, curiosity and respect for our individual experiences.

We don’t have to force ourselves into difficult emotions or push through something simply because we think we should.



Sometimes, the first step is simply recognising where we are and allowing ourselves to begin there.

Learning to look after myself from within

One of the most important things I’ve learned is that looking after myself internally needs to be a priority.

It’s easy to think about self-care in terms of what we do: taking a walk, having a bath, resting or spending time with people we love.

These things can be valuable.

But for me, there’s another part of self-care that has become just as important: understanding what is happening within me and recognising what I need before I reach my limit.

It’s learning to notice when my energy is changing.

Recognising when I’ve taken in too much.

Understanding when I need less noise, fewer demands or more time alone.

And finding ways to support myself when my cup is running low.

This is deeply personal work. There isn’t a universal formula because we are all different.

The more I understand myself, the better I become at recognising what supports me and making choices that respect my needs.

I don’t always get it right. I don’t think we need to.

For me, it’s about developing a relationship with myself in which I can notice, respond and learn, rather than continually expecting myself to push through.



And this is something I continue to explore in my own life and in my work with people who resonate with this approach and seek my guidance.

A little space to pause

I’ve been reflecting on how much we try to fit into our days, how often we move from one responsibility to another, and how easily our own needs can slip to the bottom of the list.

Sometimes, we don’t pause until our bodies or emotions demand it.

Sometimes, we wait until we’re exhausted.

Sometimes, we know something doesn’t feel right but don’t have the time, space or support to understand what it might be.

And sometimes, we simply carry on because that’s what we’ve always done.

I wonder what might change if we gave ourselves a little more space to notice.

Not another task to complete.
Not another thing we should be doing.
Not another expectation to meet.

Just a moment to pause.

A moment to notice how we’re feeling.

A moment to recognise what we’ve been carrying.

A moment to ask ourselves whether we need something different.

We don’t always need to find an answer straight away. We don’t have to turn every feeling into a project or every realisation into an action plan.

Sometimes, simply becoming aware is a meaningful beginning.

And sometimes, we need support to explore what we’re noticing, particularly when our experiences feel confusing, overwhelming or difficult to navigate alone.



We are allowed to seek that support. We are allowed to take our time.

Why I’m sharing this with you

I want to share more of what I’ve learned, not because I have everything figured out, but because I know how valuable it can be to recognise yourself in someone else’s experience.

Perhaps you’ve always known you were sensitive but haven’t quite understood what that means for you.

Perhaps you’ve spent years adapting to the world around you, without fully recognising what you need.

Perhaps perimenopause has made you more aware of your body, your emotions or the way you experience everyday life.

Or perhaps you’re simply at a point where you want to understand yourself a little more deeply.

Whatever your experience, my hope is that sharing my story helps you feel less alone.

I never wanted to get rid of my sensitivity. I wanted to understand it, learn how to work with it and discover how to look after myself in a way that felt right for me.

That journey continues.

And it’s one of the reasons I do the work I do today: to create space for people to feel heard, understood and supported as they reconnect with themselves.

Because I don’t believe we need to become someone else to feel better in ourselves.



Sometimes, we need the space and support to understand the person we already are.

You are not a symptom to fix. You are a person to understand.

And perhaps, every now and then, what we need most is simply a moment to pause.

A question to leave you with

If you gave yourself a little space today, without needing to change anything or find an answer, what might you notice about yourself?

Perhaps there’s something you’ve been feeling, something you’ve been carrying, or something you need that you haven’t quite had the space to recognise.

You don’t have to figure it all out right now.

You can simply begin by noticing.



A moment to pause. A little more space to listen. And the freedom to discover what that means for you.